Unsafe Family Life
*If you are worried about yourself (/or someone else) and the dangerousness of the situation, please call 911
here are some other resources that could also be useful during, after, or in your future:
988=National Crisis Hotline (Vets press 1)
888-628-9454 = Nacional de Prevención del Suicidio 844-493-8255= LGBTQIA+ Crisis Line (based in CO)*Facing an Unsafe Family Life, and the after math:
When we discuss Unsafe Family Life its extremely important that we mention the available immediate emergency routes you can take to a dangerous family situation, which are listed directly above this icon. When dealing with the experiences of an unsafe family life, there are a lot of things to take into account. Such as their family's values, and the identity the person may hold. Some people have unsafe family life due to an identity they are unable to change, such as: disability or difference, LGBTQIA+ identities, pregnancy, drug use, interracial relationships, religious ideology, etc. These reasons are just some of a few, for why parent's opinions and theology can severely impact the way in which their children feel safe to share their identities.
We have an obligation to make sure that the places that children and young people reside in, allows them to freely express themselves for who they are. However, we all know that commenting on parenting can be considered rude, and we aren't able to change their circumstances. This means that some people are forced by the unsafe nature of their familial environment, to share their true identities. This hiding of identity can causes large amounts of mental stress, and causes many to consider self-harm or suicide. It's our job as adults to get the youth out of unsafe homes, but these kinds of regulations have been very tricky especially in the most conservative states. There is even current legislation to take rights away from people who are open and willing to allow their children to express themselves freely and safely. If you are able to obtain evidence of direct abuse of any kind on the child, that would be your best chance at bringing a case against a parent for abuse in a case of discriminatory causes.
We also know that the majority of people who are forced to stay or leave a dangerous family situations, are not necessarily being forced into that position due to these specific stressors always. Sometimes parents or guardian have mental health challenges, but that doesn't mean they aren't responsible for how we treat people. Adults are supposed to keep the most composure they can, even when deeply upset, frustrated, or disappointed; which meanst that they are responsible for how they respond to the situation of event at hand. No parents are perfect, but they should never impose any kind of physical, emotional, and/or mental abuse onto their children or their children's friends.
Social Systems and Familial Stress
Social Systems are a cause of many multi-faceted issues, and unsafe family life happens to be one of them. Since the social systems are used to structure society, those who are least advantaged are often supported in the least sustainable ways, and stress is still high for the family. One key part of having a functional and relaxing home, is having financial security, which many of us know has been off the table in terms of the ways our current economy functions. While these social systems that cause this financial familial stress, many children are affected. A parent's ability to provide for their child, is largely based on how they were provided for, and what they have access to.
Low Income Familial Stress
When you are growing up in a world, where low income families are often over-looked and under-supported. This can cause immense social and emotional stress for the parents and the child they are raising. It's important to remember that while the social systems in place tend to keep poor people poor, which doesn't allow for much room of raising children, never means that a parent or guardian can not treat their child with the respect and love they deserve. There is plenty to blame on the social systems that keep us from making money and creating wealth, but sometimes we do have to hold people accountable for abuse physical or otherwise of their children.
Sexuality and Gender Identity and expression should be a very normal thing to be able to discuss openly and inclusively. Often times, unsafe households or spaces will treat people of different sexualities/gender identities different than they treat other people who are, "more like them". Not only is this scary and inappropriate for anyone who has different sexuality preferences/gender expression, but it also affects our world in much bigger ways by spreading unnecessary hate and therefore causing further division between us as a community. This causes a dangerous environment for children experiencing these influences of hate onto people who are different.
Interracial Relationships
It can be very harmful to continue the social system of racism in todays world. Yet, some families find themselves amongst family members who still consist of these racist ideologies. These ideologies and social systems can put younger family members in a tight spot if they are in an interracial relationship. It is dangerous to continue these out-dated traditions and they should be put to rest. The context of a persons skin color should not make them better than someone else. If a parent is putting you in an unsafe situation due to this kind of issue, we recommend getting other adults involved or contacting emergency services. (Of course, anytime we call for police, we risk racially biased interactions.)
Religious Identity
There are many different religions in this world and it is important to know that each and every one of them has its purpose on this world, that of which we are not allowed to judge. Sometimes younger family members of a very religious family feel so much pressure to follow their family religious path, they lose themselves in and typically follow a different path. It is understood by us here at THIS IS ACTIVISM, that the ways in which religious identity interact with us is based on the ways we all individually feel compelled to do so. Which means we support any person in the religious identity they have. Religious questions and confusion surrounding religion, are very common in young children, and it's our job to not be upset or abusive when responding. There is no abuse that is okay by any religion.
Early Pregnancy
There are many religious notions that come up when it comes to the topic of early pregnancy or teen pregnancy. It is a top-of-the-list reason why youth are rejected from their home life. It's really important that we talk about the ways you want to protect a pregnant person, even during difficult conversations. When discussing pregnancy with young mothers, there is a lot of pressure that can be put on them. Every person's experience will be different.
When it comes to termination of an early pregnancy due to age, wants/needs, rape, etc. there is no reason for us to stop someone. While some may have religious reasons, it is ultimately not their choice. However, with the recent ruling of Roe v. Wade overturned, (06.24.22) abortion and maternal health care is no longer provided in many states anymore.
Drug Use
Drug use can be complicated position for both the member using, and the members not using. When we are discussing drugs that are abused or cause addiction, there can be a lot more at stake. However, it is never a valid reason to cause someone harm, or abuse them in anyway. Youth are always going to do the things we don't want them to, but making sure they are doing them safely is the most important part. (Check out our Drug ED page) Making sure we take a harm reduction approach to the way we approach family members, can relieve the stress they may be feeling. If a parent or guardian is causing a dangerous situation due to the ingestion or possible ingestion of their children, this is still inappropriate. No matter the state of mind you are in, the ways that our guardians interact with us, should be safe and straight forward. (We are not saying parents are not allowed to be upset about drug use, we just believe that causing a more dangerous situation can cause unsafe feelings or events for the child.)
Disabilities or Differences
Disability and Differences, are the last thing that many people would consider a reason for unsafe family life; however, the reality is quite the opposite. When it comes to children raised in a home with a disability, they are at a much higher risk for being abused by almost any person in their life. Ranging by the effects of their disability or difference, people believe that they are able to get away with continuous abuse because of the typical lack of communication. Ableism is a large factor when it comes to the ways to how our parents and guardians can be inaccessible with us. Often times parents won't have access to the resources to accomodate the disability of their child, this can be very frustrating but should not take away from the seriousness of unsafe family life. Ableism can make it very complex for both parents and child, and thats why able-bodied individuals can also do their best to fight against injustice and for more accessibility.
Finding Healthy ways to Cope:
Finding healthy coping habits can be very difficult to find and maintain. Many people will turn to drugs, big life changes, and increased interest in dangerous activities. While all people approach coping differently, it's important for us to discuss what we are facing with those close to us. Sometimes those who know us best, are the best people to help you find healthy ways to cope with whatever you are facing.
Coping with anxiety can be harder of course, but there are always going to be more personalized ways that you can cope. Going outdoors and interacting with nature is a large way humans have been known to relax and have anti-anxiety experiences. Activities that require physical movement and team work can typically be very supportive to mental stress, but this can be accessibility-based.
If you plan on using or use any drugs please check out our Drug Education page with expansive information on how to safely ingest and preventative measures.
Knowing what kinds of relationships we have with the people around us can be very important. Our page on Relationships explains some of the ways that we can identify or relationships with others, but also how these relationships may effect us and the people around us. Avoiding Predators can also be something to look into that we prefer that all individuals prepare for.
Suicidal Thoughts and Unsafe Family Life:
While Suicidal thoughts can come from any source, we want to put in a note here that notices the ways in which our anger can overcome our mind. An unsafe family situation can look like any depending on your situation. Many have unsafe family life due to the ways their family perceives or accepts their identities. Abuse both physically or mentally can also make a family unsafe to be in. When you are young and dealing with these issues, it can be very overwhelming and lead to extreme thoughts or actions. Speaking with a mental health professional will always be an option, and its okay to be scared. Many of face deep emotional stress when we learn the ways our family can impact our ability to be safe. The way you view others and yourself can be complicated and professionals are there to help all of us.
National Crisis Hotline: 988