Virginity
Virginity and what does it mean?:
Virginity and its relation to the social system of sexism, show us the ways that sexual expression and sexual activities are often taken out of context as inappropriate activities or emotionally wrong activities. Virginity typically acts as a social construct that continues to uphold things like sexism and attempts at racial purity. We want to be clear in saying that virginity does not actually exist, its simply a thing our human community made up to decide how pure or unpure someone is based on sexual knowlegde or activity. Masturbation is not typcially considered a way of which we can lose virginity, but may consist of the exact same actions.
All interests in human sexuality is normal especially once entering or in puberty. Typically by the time an AFAB person has developed a menstrual cycle, these ideals of sexual activity may arise or already be present. AMAB individuals often have a completely different view on virginity. When we view virginity it is typically focused on the women's experiences of sex, due to the assumption that women are not inherently sexual beings. Men are more often looked at as inherently sexual beings, and are typicaly forced into the toxic masculine roles of sexual ideology.
It is important for us to communicate that anyone who claims that a tampon or menstrual product can take away your virginity, that is simply not the case. Menstruating is a nature human function, and taking care of your body how you see fit during that fine is what is appropriate.
Breaking the Hymen
This applies to a piece of tissue that typically blocks the enterance to the vaginal canal. Some cultures associate the presence of this tissue to be an answer to whether or not someone has their virginity intact. While a majority of AFAB people lose the hymen tissue in childhood or adolescence due to activities or self exploration. Hymen tissue doesn't even exist for all AFAB individuals. Those who are intersex, and have a vulva and/or vaginal canal, this experience could be completely different as well.
Virginity being a construct outside of this definition shows us the true nature of sexual purity and the ways that certain cultures can interpret that. We are not commenting on personal choices to follow cultural practice; however, choice and deep understanding should always be given before implicating these values on to others. .
Having Sex for the First Time
Virginity typically refers to the way in which we first had sex, or if we have. Many people's assumption of virginity is one that requires sexual penetration for the idea of virginity to go away. However, all sexual activity has the same amount of emotional weight and STD/STI risk, while only straight heterosexual penetration has the risk of pregnancy.
Having sex for the first time is typically a life event for most; however, most people don't consider their first time to be great. That's why good communication, consent, and knowledge of our own bodies, is key to having a good sexual experience with someone else.
Many people forget that implications of the stigmatization of menstrual cycles and assumed loss of virginity on young AFAB individuals.
Consent in All Spaces is a mechanism we can use to focus on how we would want to be treated in any given situation. We know that being forced to do anything is uncomfortable, and when it comes to sexual encounters there is a high tendency for people to abuse their position in the exchange of pleasure. This is not only a crime, but a tendency high enough that 1 in 4 people Assigned Female At Birth, or represent femininity, are sexually abused before the age of 18. This is not to take away from the ways that males are alos victims of sexual asssault.
Talking about consent is important and there are plently of ways to make is a sexy experience. We should always discuss our sexual preferences in terms of sexual acts, before we engage in sexual acts with someone new. It's important to discuss STD/STI status and make sure that this is a person you are comfortable with. Continuous consent is also important, and if you aren't feeling a situaiton don't feel compelled to continue. Make sure to have good communication with the people you are engaging with, this can be even in non-sexual spaces. Consent can revolve around many different areas in life such as, medical procedures, touching (hugging/kissing), discussion of personal information or triggering information, etc.