Grief/Loss
Grief and Loss:
When we are discussing Grief and Loss, it's important to remember what this entity has signified or how it has impacted your life thus far. Not all of us can understand the ways that we all experience grief and loss differently. Some us may feel joy or happiness when we lose a part of our environment, while others may feel deep sadness. All feelings are valid when discussing things like loss and death. Sometimes our losses can look like anything though, and we have to evaluate when we feel we've lost something. Sometimes we are losing relationships with family members or friends due to a given situation. Sometimes even when we choose to remove ourself from a situation, we still feel the loss and heartache of grief.
Death/ Loss:
When it comes to a death of someone you know or care about, these things can effect each and every one of us differently. It's important that we think about the ways that we are experiencing this event, as well as the ways we treat the people around us who are dealing with their own form of grief. When we are reminded of death, we can have changes in perspective. These changes are normal and if you are questioning your perception, its always okay to talk to a mental health professional or a trusted person in your life. Take time to really think about the ways this person or event has meant to you. Many find it comforting to have a sacred moment for people to mourn the loved one. You can also do this in private, even if you don't believe in any set religious authority. Sometimes people are 'called' or feel compelled to investigate their religious idenitiy and this is also valid. It's important that no matter your coping process, that we try not to impose our unique coping process on to those around us. During tough times people can feel intense emotinos and we don't want to increase the strain on the people experiencing this loss. It doesn't mean you can't offer, we just suggest that you don't force it.
Sometimes we don't feel anything when death's or loss occurs and this can be a way of our brain and body trying to cope. These feelings are still valid, and death is not something we are forced to feel upset about. Many people in hospice care may have loved ones that are relieved when death occurs, due to the amount of pain and suffering they were experiencing.
When discussing the death of a parent or guardian, there is really no way to explain or guide you along that process. This is a time in your life where people can support you or not, people can show up or they won't. There are ways to continue the memory of your parent(s) if that's what you choose. All of us have our own relationships of different statuses with our parents, so there will never be a right answer. The only thing we can remember is how much we have to keep going. It is not the best answer, we know. But finding ways to enjoy life, and see what you find passion in, are ways to help your time after initial mourning. Don't let anyone tell you how to process or what to do in this time, unless they are simply trying to keep you safe. We reccomend seeking mental health care professionals to see you through this time and make sure that you have a safe place to share how this time is really making you feel.
Dealing with Injury & Chronic Illness:
When it comes to long-term alterations to the way we have known our lives so far, sometimes we have to grieve the person we were before this diagnosis or event occured. There are real feelings about the people we are before, during, and after a crisis. Our perceptions and therefore preferences and personality changes, which can effect the ways in which we interact with in our community. Many people face disabilities, chronic illnesses, cancer diagnoses, and more, all at the most random times in their lives. No one sees these types of events or diagnoses in their future; and even if you do, it will still shock you. There is always the initial grieving period where many will dream or have vivid memories of the "before", this is our brain's way of trying to cope. Sometimes it can be very difficult to wake up the day (s) following an event/diagnosis and it still may not seem real. Then we remember our change of placement in life.
It's important to remember that a lot of the mental stress put onto people with disabilities and chronic illnesses, is largely caused by the profiteering pharmaceutical companies that own the rights to their life-saving, or accessibility treatments and assistance. These accessibility measures are neccessary for any person to function in our society, due to the social system of ableism that causes inaccessibility of most public areas. There are laws and rules that prevent this continuence; however, they are often laws that ignored by employers, institutions, and community peers.
Separation; Loss of Relationships:
When people in our lives seperate, or we seperate from influential people in our lives, there can be some grief that comes with that.
Displacement:
Sometimes we grieve things we were comfortable having in our lives that we have since lost. This can be applied to a lot of different situations, but can also be applied to the ways we shift our lives around. Not all of us lead lives that stay in one place, this constant change can be effectful in the ways we make and keep relationships. We should always think about the ways that displacing others, or putting someone in a position they've never been in, can effect their mental health.
When facing displacement head on, sometimes we are forced to consider more than what we want and focus on what we need. It's can be difficult if you are facing this for the first time, but no matter the frequency, your feelings and experiences are valid. It is not easy to go through changes of place, work, school, etc. and we have the ability to grieve this change. When we leave something we are familiar with, we have to take the time to process that change. If you feel like you may need help in deciphering your experiences, than try to get in contact with a mental health professional.
Suicidal Thoughts and Grief/ Loss:
While Suicidal thoughts can come from any source, we want to put in a note here that notices the ways in which our anger can overcome our mind. Dealing with a loss or large amount of grief can cause a lot of distress for someone. Anger, Depression, Denial, and Acceptance will all be different journeys for each person throught their grief. All of us can struggle with our mental health in times of deep sorrow, anger, etc. It is always a good idea to speak with a mental health care professional if you believe you have trouble regulating your emotions. Take time to discuss any feelings you may have surrounding the issue. Speaking with a mental health professional will always be an option, and its okay to be scared. Many of us don't face deep emotional stress until we experience forms of loss and grief, and sometimes its more difficult to cope than you are used to. The way you view others and yourself can be complicated and professionals are there to help all of us.
National Crisis Hotline: 988
Finding Healthy ways to Cope:
Finding healthy coping habits can be very difficult to find and maintain. Many people will turn to drugs, big life changes, and increased interest in dangerous activities. While all people approach coping differently, it's important for us to discuss what we are facing with those close to us. Sometimes those who know us best, are the best people to help you find healthy ways to cope with whatever you are facing. Reach out to professional support if you are worried about your mental health or need more clarification on how to best handle these life events.
Coping with anxiety can be harder of course, but there are always going to be more personalized ways that you can cope. Going outdoors and interacting with nature is a large way humans have been known to relax and have anti-anxiety experiences. Activities that require physical movement and team work can typically be very supportive to mental stress, but this can be accessibility-based.
If you plan on using or use any drugs please check out our Drug Education page with expansive information on how to safely ingest and preventative measures.