Orgasms
What even is an Orgasm?
An orgasm is a neurological event that occurs when peak pleasure is reached, this can be caused by several different actions or even the lack of any actions. Many people experience orgasms during masturbation or sexual acts with others. It's important to remember that everyone's route to an orgasm is different and when having sex you are trying to figure out the best route to get there. Orgasms are completely normal, but are different in mode or way, based on what sex or genitalia being stimulated.
Orgasms typically provide a physical relief of emotions, stress, and other build up tension in the body. It is very healthy for the body to experience orgasms unless you have a heart or neurological condition where you have been instructed otherwise. If you have a cardiological or neurological medical condition or diagnosis, talk to your doctor about orgasms and your safety when experiencing them.
When having sex with other people it is important to know about Consent and the ways of obtaining consent continuously. You also may want to consider the protection options you have for protecting again sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) or infections (STIs). If you have questions about sexual desires or sex, that is completely normal, as no one has the answers until the ask. (In this case the internet, LOL). Information on getting tested and contraception is also important when deciding who and how to engage in sex.
Masturbation (Self Pleasure) :
Masturbation is a term most people use to refer to self-pleasuring and the normality of pleasure centered health. There are a lot of ways that each of us keeps ourselves sexually safe, and masturbation is the number one. Because masturbation focuses on self-pleasure it is known to help reconnect with the self, lessen anxiety, lessen blood-pressure, and have positive mental health effects. There is no reason for anyone to demonize the safeness of touching yourself for pleasure. There is no age or time where touching yourself should be considered inappropriate. Finding a way to have a stable and healthy relationship with our ability to pleasure ourselves, allows us to communicate that with others and know your worth. If you are confused about your body and what's best for you, it is okay to bring these kinds of questions up with a doctor or trusted guardian.
Discussing masturbation should be a more open topic, but it can be scary for some people to share those experiences with others. There is a lot of social systems that can hinder our relationship with sexuality and self, but we have to break past social norms and discuss the uncomfortable. Masturbation is such a normal part of human development that many poets and literature has even revolved around the ideas of masturbation and fantasy.
Only when you obtain consent should masturbation can be done with or around people you would like to have sexual acts with. Sometimes we aren't ready to touch one another and we may choose to start with mutual masturbation. Mutual masturbation is another fluid safe sexual act that people can do together if they aren't sure about touching one another yet.
Consent in All Spaces is a mechanism we can use to focus on how we would want to be treated in any given situation. We know that being forced to do anything is uncomfortable, and when it comes to sexual encounters there is a high tendency for people to abuse their position in the exchange of pleasure. This is not only a crime, but a tendency high enough that 1 in 4 people Assigned Female At Birth, or represent femininity, are sexually abused before the age of 18. This is not to take away from the ways that males are alos victims of sexual asssault.
Talking about consent is important and there are plently of ways to make is a sexy experience. We should always discuss our sexual preferences in terms of sexual acts, before we engage in sexual acts with someone new. It's important to discuss STD/STI status and make sure that this is a person you are comfortable with. Continuous consent is also important, and if you aren't feeling a situaiton don't feel compelled to continue. Make sure to have good communication with the people you are engaging with, this can be even in non-sexual spaces. Consent can revolve around many different areas in life such as, medical procedures, touching (hugging/kissing), discussion of personal information or triggering information, etc.
Sexual Fantasies:
All of us have sexual fantasies, they are part of the brains development. Most people think about their identities and expression when it comes to sex, in the beginning of puberty and into adolescence. Reminding ourselves of imagination's lack of reality, and the consent we require from others and ourselves, allows us to detach these fantasies from real life. No one is ever obligated to be with you due to your liking of them, but there are still appropriate ways of approaching these feelings.
It's important to remind ourselves the ways that media and online sources can steer us in the wrong direction (even us). All of your preference comes with time and place, as well as needs of you and others. Try to remember how lots of free or mainstream porn or views of sex in media, are hideously inaccurate and depict unattainable standards for sex and worthiness. Porn can be positive way of expressing sexual urges, but there are really hurtful effects of watching porn or being exposed to porn at a young age. There is no reason to give yourself any expectation for sexual interaction because it will be different with everyone person on the planet. We recommend staying away from porn, unless you are an adult and understand your needs.